Now I could rave about how fantastic, brilliant, superb and sensational Sea World and Movie World are, as everyone who has been already knows, but I'm sure you would much rather hear the awful truth about those embarrassing mishaps of a typical family outing when you wish you had never left the safety of your doona.
First off, Andrew refused to drag his bony bum out of bed so we were LATE; setting off at 9 am (instead of 7 am) and thanks to an obligatory traffic hold-up didn't arrive at the theme park until 12 noon. So I decided to spend the afternoon in a king-size huff, snarling and spitting venom at He Who Made Us Late and positively RUINED our trip.
Then to pour salt on the wound of our timing defect, we were LATE for the last monorail to Nara Resort and had to walk back through the dark and chilly park with me muttering about "the snowballing effect of our bad start” and blaming HWMUL all over again.
It's incredible how at 4.53 pm the place is a carnival of dancing dolphins, leaping skiers, squealing roller coaster riders and thousands of camera-jangling tourists and then at 5.07 pm it's deserted. Eerie. And only WE got to see it! What a privilege!
Back at the resort that night we salvaged the day with an All-You-Can-Stuff-Down-Your-Throat buffet meal and I thought I'd top it off with a spa and sauna. It was a great sweat and I was ready to hit the sack but somewhere between the sauna and our room I lost my sense of direction.
There I was, wrapped only in a towel clutching my togs, wandering around the garden, a desperate and pathetic sight, as Japanese tourists pointed and scoffed "Stupid Aussie Girl!"
The AYCSDYT buffet breakfast was included in the special stay-over deal and we were primed to lash out and eat hearty. I was in the queue carefully selecting a delicious, steaming hot, high protein brekkie, eager to savour the crunchy bacon, when Justine announces, "I want to go to the toilet". Impeccable timing strikes again. We spend what seems like hours in the loo then return to our table to my stony cold eggs and deflated croissant. There are certain martyred moments in life when you wish you were not the only person in the room who could take a toddler to the loo.
Today we were going to Movie World and I was determined that we were going to do it RIGHT. And as Andrew's sweet reward for getting us there early enough for the first Batman Adventure Ride he was picked out of the crowd to play Superman on the big screen.
There he was, resplendent in cape and tights looking every inch the hero this Lois Lane had fallen for, going through his flying actions for all to see. I was so excited I snapped off about 14 shots at the overhead screen before I realised the photos wouldn't turn out. Later that day I spent 15 bucks on developing a dud film. "Ah well it's only money” we laughed lamely, caught up in the Movie World spending frenzy.
Daniel, who demonstrated a remarkable aptitude for a future as a professional tourist, decided to spoil his record by chucking a mega sulk because we said the Big NO to paying for a Superman video of himself in full flight.
He gives us that pubescent acid glare which says "Parents Suck" and we dart back that old faithful guilt-provoking parental classic which says "After ALL we've spent and ALL this fun, it is STILL not ENOUGH!"
So in a collective huff and all theme-parked and junk-fooded out, we hit the road for the Sunshine Coast musing all the while “Ain't it fun being a family!”